Thursday, September 2, 2021

Blog Retirement

We made it past the decade mark, and I've decided to retire the blog. I won't delete it- I can't bring myself to delete something I've dedicated myself to for such a significant chunk of time, but I won't be updating here anymore.

I'm still writing, though! Check me out at...

Support me at Ko-Fi

Updates at Twitter

Actual poetry read to you and for you at TikTok

Buy my chapbook and audible at Amazon



It's time to crack out of the cocoon and flutter on to different skies and flowers. Thank you all for sticking with me for so long. It's been quite a journey.

See you space cowboy,

Kit

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

A decade of words

Today is the decade birthday of Oh My Foes!

August 10th, 2011, I posted my first blog. Here it is, if you want to revisit it too. Honestly, I can't read it without the compulsion to go back and edit. 😂 

I started this blog to reconnect with my craft and myself. I occasionally forget it exists (object permanence is a thing for ADHD people, look it up) but I always find my way back. I've been writing in this blog longer than I've known most of my platonic and romantic relationships outside of blood family.


My candle burns at both ends;
    It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—
    It gives a lovely light!

I chose to name my poem after Edna St. Vincent Millay's famous poem, First Fig, because it's me. I'm the candle. I'll be 39 next month, and I'd like to think I've been learning ways to regulate my burn, but it's probably more accurate to say that age and chronic illness have been forcing me to slow down. 

I had big plans for this anniversary. I wanted to throw a reading in the park and invite all my friends. I wanted to bake them cupcakes and share my poetry. But the Delta variant had other ideas. The rest of Missouri is out there pretending like we aren't the literal epicenter of this variant, but I'm not interested in assisting Governor Parson's murder of unvaccinated folks, so that one went away. Honestly, it's also supposed to be like 97 F today and being outside sounds like hell, so I guess it's a win either way.


When I started this blog, I felt like all of my report cards growing up, "so much potential" but nothing to show for it. Of course, even then, that wasn't true. One of the things I have learned with this blog is that by tooting my own horn, I remind myself that I do get my work done. When you have a total of 1 billion project ideas a day, the fact that you accomplish only 1 feels like a failure, until you put some perspective on it: that one thing is the thing that stuck, that resonated and manifested, and now it's here and beautiful in its imperfection. So I don't give up. Grit. I just keep going, even (especially) when my go looks different than others' go.

Since I started this blog, I have written 3 books, published 1 chapbook, have another chapbook in the last stages of the works, I've explored/explore multiple avenues of sharing my writing. I give myself daily permission to suck but to also keep going. To be scared, but to take risks anyway. I frequently don't get the results I thought I would, but it always teaches me. 

Not all my poems are winners. Today's poem is not.

8-10-21


I day dream

About sleeping in the woods

Under the stars

But the reality is Ticks and sweat

Anyway, happy 10 year anniversary to myself. Current and future me are proud of past me for doing this. 

If you want to wish me and my decade old blog a happy anniversary, you can always buy us a cup of ko-fi. 👄💓

10 years of love, sweat, and tears,

Kit S



As always, if you like (love) this content and want to support my writing outside of the big bad projects, and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.


Friday, August 6, 2021

Spoken Word poetry redux

I spend a lot of time thinking about spoken word poetry and why I hate it when it's demonstrably and inarguably a valid and meaningful field of poetry- and I have explored many explanations but none of them ever sat right.

When I was in my early twenties and I hadn't formed an opinion about it yet, I did a few open mikes with a friend. I stood on stage, the color of a tomato, feeling embarrassment from the sweating crown of my head to my clenched toes. I smoked cigarettes outside afterwards and recycled the moment over and over in my head. I felt shame, I felt vulnerable, and most of all, I felt like my poems didn't belong with the other poems. I felt like I didn't belong with the other poets. 

Enter my late 20s: everybody tells me that I should listen to Andrea Gibson. I do. I hate every second of it. Their voice makes my stomach hurt. Their words make me feel hot and I want to shut down. Like, the words are good, but they are direct and raw and seem to be there to intentionally and forcefully illicit a response, which they do (and I don't like). I try to like their words. I subscribe to Button Poetry and try to like spoken word, slam poetry- after all, it's earnestly the poetry of marginalized people. It's where I first see fat, queer, trans, & BIPOC people reading their craft. I want to like it , but listening brings up those same hot & hard feelings. 

When I was in college I had a lot of bullshit academic reasons for why I didn't like spoken word poetry and honestly? They aren't worth going into here. They're bullshit.

I've even wrote posts here in this blog, many were deleted. They didn't feel true.

This week I was (once again) ranting about spoken word to Mr. J and it occurred to me that it's because so much of the structure of the craft is writing and saying things bluntly. It's radical vulnerability. I don't like it because I am deeply uncomfortable with radical vulnerability, but that's also why it's so powerful and why so many people do love it, and also why it is SO IMPORTANT. 

I doubt I'll be able to magically gravitate towards the form now, but it feels good to understand some of it's significance and it's truths. It's also understanding myself in a new way, understanding how I share my vulnerability as a writer of feelings. This knowledge sits right and it feels true. It feels more like a seed instead of rock.

@-%--


Sidebar: if you do the Tik Tok, I've got one up for regular poetry readings! Check me out, y'all: Amazing Kitikins Please like+follow+comment <3


Earnestly Yours,

Kit


As always, if you like (love) this content and want to support my writing outside of the big bad projects, and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

Monday, August 2, 2021

I dreamt a dream

 Last night I dreamt that I consistently and regularly kept up with this blog. Of all the things for my subconscious to pick on me for, I'm going to put that up there as one of the more trivial.

Anyway, it's been a hot minute. My writing has been on a hiatus, which I'm starting to think is perpetual. Maybe I'm not a writer anymore? Or maybe I'm digging in the dirt before I plant the seed. Who knows? I have been thinking about starting a new project. I've spent a lot of time thinking about my perpetually unfinished trilogy and all the things that are problematic with it and I don't think I'm going to finish it? Or maybe I have to finish it to fix it? I honestly don't know and I think I've been stuck on that question for years, and that I've felt too guilty to start other projects after investing so much time into that one. I think it's time to move on. If I want to go back and work on it, I can, but until then I need to move on with my life because I can't stay in this void forever.


This is now. I am officially giving up on this trilogy. I'm moving on. And it's okay and it's the right (write) thing for me to do.

So I'm going to do NaNoWriMo this year and try to kick off a new project. IDK what it'll be, but it'll be fun to think of something new!

Our writing group hasn't met since pre-pandemic and everybody has gone quiet in our online group, so I've been missing my writerly community. 

So this all worked really well when I had a blog schedule. I'm not sure what knocked me off that schedule- it honestly could have been anything, but I'm going to start putting this blog back on my planner so it's not out of sight out of mind.

So goals & brainstorming:

  • Self publish August chapbook from last year, woo!
  • Start brainstorming a new book for November
  • Participate in NaNoWriMo
  • Blog Weekly, minimum
  • Connect with other writers
  • Reading goals!
  • Listen to podcasts to stay motivated 
  • Write something every day
Next week is the 10 year anniversary of my blog! WHAT THE HECK. A whole ass decade, y'all! I may try to do something special, so stay tuned! I may not... we'll see...

Byeeeeeeeee!


As always, if you like (love) this content and want to support my writing outside of the big bad projects, and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

Thursday, May 27, 2021

A few months later...

Updates & rambling...

Do you all know that I have ADHD? This is not a joking ha ha ha flippant comment. I have it!

So at this point I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I haven't updated in a few months. I could lie to you and tell you it's because of all the projects I've been working on, but honestly? It's not. In fact, when I'm busy with writing projects, it normally triggers me to write in here. The truth is, this is just me, and a me that suffers from pretty hard depression in the Spring. 

Reading goalsssssssssss

My goals this year are pretty minimal- I think I've got a 2 books-a-month reading goal? I've kept up with it, more or less. Last month I was hyper focused and knocked both of my books out in a week. This month I got cocky and didn't start reading/listening to my audiobooks until far too late in the month. I also chose pretty hefty bois to read. (Oh hey, let's be friends on StoryGraph?)

Checked off my to-read list since Jan:

  • The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coats
  • Children of Virtue & Vengeance by Tomi Adeyemi
  • Lumberjanes: The Moon is Up by Mariko Tamaki (I <3 YA and I'll fight you)
  • How Long 'til Black Future Month? N.K. Jemisin
  • How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi
  • Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
  • The Craft of Love by EE Ottoman
  • The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

Currently working on:

  • The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon
  • The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern
To write, we must read! So I'm trying to keep my brain meat sharp (ow).

And now... to talk about creating!

As far as writing goes... well... it's on and off. The pandemic has definitely made it worse, that's for sure. I wrote a collection of poems last August and have tried putting a manuscript together for it 3 times, 2 of which have been lost to laptops that gave up before me. The third I am actively and presently working on. Since I've decided to stop publishing through Amazon, I'm trying to find a new self publisher. Searching for self-publishing companies almost always sends me on a former English major spiral of 1) imposter syndrome, BIG TIME 2) snobbery regarding self publishing (which I pretty much exclusively do, so wtf brain) and 3) General Anxiety & Overwhelmednessery.

I'm not sure I'll ever let my current novels see the light of day. There are some problematic corners I've written myself into and also? I can't reiterate enough how re-reading the novel I wrote post-concussion is like pulling teeth. Like ok. Brain injury and still tryna get them words on the page. I might just scratch them and start over fresh this year. But should I scratch a three book project because I don't like 1.5 of the books? Is this more imposter syndrome? Hello, this is just a brief glimpse into the deep well of overthinking I've done about these books over the past 5 years. I do think I still want to pursue a real publisher this year? But also maybe not. I don't fucking know. I am in book limbo. 

I also can't shake the feeling that I'm a much better poet than prose writer. I also learned that there are a whole bunch of people who think in like pictures? Like their thoughts while they're writing are like they're in a movie of everything happening, and I mostly think in words and I wonder if that stunts my ability to write prose? IDK. 

I knit A LOT of hats this winter, crocheted Ugly Blanket Jr. for my brother, made some tie dye stuff with my partner, started and ditched so many projects I can't keep track of them all. We added several giant containers to our veggie garden and the flowers came in like a goddamn beautiful, messy English garden (look!)

  

 


So I guess I don't really know what my writing goals are for this year (and we're 5 months in, yikes!) but I am trying really hard to get this second book of poetry out. It might end up going through Amazon again, just because it seems like they're the best for self publishing rn and the body of my poetry has already been through them. I just hate the idea of Jeff Bezos profiting off of my money- to be fair, the amount I sell books of poetry is just so miniscule. I'm pretty sure he makes more money in the time it takes to sneeze. Honestly, at my normal people job, I think I probably make more money in the time it takes to sneeze than I have off of self publishing. So meh? Does it matter? IDK, that's a thought for overthinking Kit to ponder later, then again, and possibly a third time, definitely a few times in a row while trying to sleep.

Our writing group seems to be hibernating. I hope it can find some life again soon. It ebbs and flows and I'm okay with that... I do too. 

Listening...

So I listen off and on to the podcast Start with This. SwT is accessible and frequently very motivating. Joseph & Jeffrey have a pretty good banter vibe and the writing prompts are helpful. I like how they structure it all, too. Do I do the prompts every time? Absolutely not, that's a level of consistency I would need to be medicated to achieve. Just keeping it real, y'all.

I've tried several other podcasts, but it seems like most of the writing podcasts I've found are too academic to keep my interest. Don't get me wrong, I was a baby academic in the throes of snobbery back in college, but that cost me a lot of money and put me in over a decades worth of debt that I could barely juggle and survive (and wouldn't have, if not for the love and help of friends and family). I'm not paying somebody to bore me death again. Fool me once, shame and debt on me, Fool me twice, well fuck, I just can't afford it. 

But if anybody is reading this and they have some good suggestions, I'd love to give them a try. 

So I guess that's a pretty good general update/ramblebramble. I hope everybody is having a fabulous week and I'll write at y'all again soon. Promise!


Love and rainy days,

Kit


As always, if you like (love) this content and want to support my writing outside of the big bad projects, and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

Monday, February 22, 2021

What are you reading?

Hello, dear readers!

It's Monday, again. That means blog time! 

I'm currently reading

A few thoughts...

On How Long 'Til Black Future Month

I found NK Jemisin through LeVar Burton's podcast and have been telling myself I'm going to get into her work for months (maybe a year, even? What is time during this pandemic?) I was super excited to start this book of short stories and I am so pleased! I'm almost halfway through, but I really loved the "Cloud Dragon Skies" and "El Alchemista". If you have an opportunity to pick it up, I definitely recommend it. But you don't have to take my word for it, just check out LeVar Burton's podcast for a taste! (Sorry to other listeners of his podcast, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to use his catch phrase). 


On How to be an Antiracist

"The most threatening racist movement is not the alt right's unlikely drive for a White ethnostate but the regular American's drive for a "race-neutral" one." ~Ibram X. Kendi

He just jumps in and starts calling out the color-blind status quo and I am here for it. I'm not deep into How to be an Antiracist, but I have underlined something at least every two pages so far.* It's good, thoughtful stuff and I can't wait to get deeper.


What are y'all reading? HMU with those good books! Also, my storygraph is kit_steitz so let's be friends and share recs! 


love and sunshine,

Kit



*Unfortunately, I left it at my partner's house during a snow storm and we were separated for a full week. But he brought my book and his cute face by my place this weekend, so all is well that ends well. Or all is well that continues well? 


As always, if you like (love) this content and want to support my writing outside of the big bad projects, and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

Monday, February 8, 2021

2021 Book Goals

Every good writer must also read. Somebody somewhere said something like that, I'm sure. 

So this year I want to be intentional about hitting the books! It's been a long time since college, so I get to chose the shit I want. So I'm going to try to knock out 24 books this year. That's 2 books per month. They can also be graphic novels, because I do heart me a good graphic novel. Big props to all my friend recs! Maybe I'll try to whip out some reviews to share.


My list (Probably not read in sequential order):

  1. The Water Dancer, by Ta-Nehisi Coates
  2. Children of Virtue & Vengeance by Tomi Adeyemi 
  3. The Unicorn & The Lady
  4. Gender Failure by Ivan E. Coyote
  5. The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenster
  6. Remote Control by Nnedi Okorafor
  7. The Kraken Lord and the Eater of the Sun by E.E. Ottoman
  8. How Long 'til Black Future Month by N.K. Jemisin
  9. How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi
  10. The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon
  11. This is How you Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar
  12. Map to the Sun by Sloane Leong
  13. Naked in Death J.D. Robb
  14. Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
  15. How to Talk to a Goddess by Emily Croy Barker
  16. The Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon
  17. The City We Became by N.K. Jemison
  18. The untitled second novel of Legendborn by Tracy Deonn (coming out 2021)
  19. A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas
  20. Aetherbound by E.K. Johnston
  21. The Craft of Love by E.E. Ottoman
  22. My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite
  23. Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro 
  24. Last Call: A True Story of Love, Lust, and Murder in Queer New York by Elon Green
Also, internet friends, I am no longer active on GoodReads (although this blog auto populates there). You can find me over at the Story Graph. My username is kit_steitz. There are no author pages, just reader pages, and that's cool too!

I love it when y'all throw some bones my way, and normally I would be pimping my work at the end of this blog, but this month I want ya'll (white folks like me) to go buy a book by a Black poet or prose writer (do it every month! But if you need a starting point, choose now). If you haven't read Rita Dove, audre lorde, Nnedi Okorafor, Tracy Deonn, Tomi Adeyemi, or the actual depth and wealth of Black authors that make up the fabric of our literary works past and present, then you need to catch up. You are missing out on whole universes of actual magic. 

Much love and luck on your book goals this year, my dear readers!

Love,
Kit