A decade of words

Today is the decade birthday of Oh My Foes!

August 10th, 2011, I posted my first blog. Here it is, if you want to revisit it too. Honestly, I can't read it without the compulsion to go back and edit. 😂 

I started this blog to reconnect with my craft and myself. I occasionally forget it exists (object permanence is a thing for ADHD people, look it up) but I always find my way back. I've been writing in this blog longer than I've known most of my platonic and romantic relationships outside of blood family.

My candle burns at both ends;
    It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—
    It gives a lovely light!

I chose to name my poem after Edna St. Vincent Millay's famous poem, First Fig, because it's me. I'm the candle. I'll be 39 next month, and I'd like to think I've been learning ways to regulate my burn, but it's probably more accurate to say that age and chronic illness have been forcing me to slow down. 

I had big plans for this anniversary. I wanted to throw a reading in the park and invite all my friends. I wanted to bake them cupcakes and share my poetry. But the Delta variant had other ideas. The rest of Missouri is out there pretending like we aren't the literal epicenter of this variant, but I'm not interested in assisting Governor Parson's murder of unvaccinated folks, so that one went away. Honestly, it's also supposed to be like 97 F today and being outside sounds like hell, so I guess it's a win either way.

When I started this blog, I felt like all of my report cards growing up, "so much potential" but nothing to show for it. Of course, even then, that wasn't true. One of the things I have learned with this blog is that by tooting my own horn, I remind myself that I do get my work done. When you have a total of 1 billion project ideas a day, the fact that you accomplish only 1 feels like a failure, until you put some perspective on it: that one thing is the thing that stuck, that resonated and manifested, and now it's here and beautiful in its imperfection. So I don't give up. Grit. I just keep going, even (especially) when my go looks different than others' go.

Since I started this blog, I have written 3 books, published 1 chapbook, have another chapbook in the last stages of the works, I've explored/explore multiple avenues of sharing my writing. I give myself daily permission to suck but to also keep going. To be scared, but to take risks anyway. I frequently don't get the results I thought I would, but it always teaches me. 

Not all my poems are winners. Today's poem is not.

8-10-21

I day dream

About sleeping in the woods

Under the stars

But the reality is Ticks and sweat

Anyway, happy 10 year anniversary to myself. Current and future me are proud of past me for doing this. 

If you want to wish me and my decade old blog a happy anniversary, you can always buy us a cup of ko-fi. 👄💓

10 years of love, sweat, and tears,

Kit S

As always, if you like (love) this content and want to support my writing outside of the big bad projects, and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter. 

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

I dreamt a dream

 Last night I dreamt that I consistently and regularly kept up with this blog. Of all the things for my subconscious to pick on me for, I'm going to put that up there as one of the more trivial.

Anyway, it's been a hot minute. My writing has been on a hiatus, which I'm starting to think is perpetual. Maybe I'm not a writer anymore? Or maybe I'm digging in the dirt before I plant the seed. Who knows? I have been thinking about starting a new project. I've spent a lot of time thinking about my perpetually unfinished trilogy and all the things that are problematic with it and I don't think I'm going to finish it? Or maybe I have to finish it to fix it? I honestly don't know and I think I've been stuck on that question for years, and that I've felt too guilty to start other projects after investing so much time into that one. I think it's time to move on. If I want to go back and work on it, I can, but until then I need to move on with my life because I can't stay in this void forever.

This is now. I am officially giving up on this trilogy. I'm moving on. And it's okay and it's the right (write) thing for me to do.

So I'm going to do NaNoWriMo this year and try to kick off a new project. IDK what it'll be, but it'll be fun to think of something new!

Our writing group hasn't met since pre-pandemic and everybody has gone quiet in our online group, so I've been missing my writerly community. 

So this all worked really well when I had a blog schedule. I'm not sure what knocked me off that schedule- it honestly could have been anything, but I'm going to start putting this blog back on my planner so it's not out of sight out of mind.

So goals & brainstorming:

• Self publish August chapbook from last year, woo!
• Start brainstorming a new book for November
• Participate in NaNoWriMo
• Blog Weekly, minimum
• Connect with other writers
• Reading goals!
• Listen to podcasts to stay motivated 
• Write something every day

Next week is the 10 year anniversary of my blog! WHAT THE HECK. A whole ass decade, y'all! I may try to do something special, so stay tuned! I may not... we'll see...

Byeeeeeeeee!

As always, if you like (love) this content and want to support my writing outside of the big bad projects, and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter. 

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

A few months later...

Updates & rambling...

Do you all know that I have ADHD? This is not a joking ha ha ha flippant comment. I have it!

So at this point I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I haven't updated in a few months. I could lie to you and tell you it's because of all the projects I've been working on, but honestly? It's not. In fact, when I'm busy with writing projects, it normally triggers me to write in here. The truth is, this is just me, and a me that suffers from pretty hard depression in the Spring. 

Reading goalsssssssssss

My goals this year are pretty minimal- I think I've got a 2 books-a-month reading goal? I've kept up with it, more or less. Last month I was hyper focused and knocked both of my books out in a week. This month I got cocky and didn't start reading/listening to my audiobooks until far too late in the month. I also chose pretty hefty bois to read. (Oh hey, let's be friends on StoryGraph?)

Checked off my to-read list since Jan:

• The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coats
• Children of Virtue & Vengeance by Tomi Adeyemi
• Lumberjanes: The Moon is Up by Mariko Tamaki (I <3 YA and I'll fight you)
• How Long 'til Black Future Month? N.K. Jemisin
• How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi
• Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
• The Craft of Love by EE Ottoman
• The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

Currently working on:

• The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon
• The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

To write, we must read! So I'm trying to keep my brain meat sharp (ow).

And now... to talk about creating!

As far as writing goes... well... it's on and off. The pandemic has definitely made it worse, that's for sure. I wrote a collection of poems last August and have tried putting a manuscript together for it 3 times, 2 of which have been lost to laptops that gave up before me. The third I am actively and presently working on. Since I've decided to stop publishing through Amazon, I'm trying to find a new self publisher. Searching for self-publishing companies almost always sends me on a former English major spiral of 1) imposter syndrome, BIG TIME 2) snobbery regarding self publishing (which I pretty much exclusively do, so wtf brain) and 3) General Anxiety & Overwhelmednessery.

I'm not sure I'll ever let my current novels see the light of day. There are some problematic corners I've written myself into and also? I can't reiterate enough how re-reading the novel I wrote post-concussion is like pulling teeth. Like ok. Brain injury and still tryna get them words on the page. I might just scratch them and start over fresh this year. But should I scratch a three book project because I don't like 1.5 of the books? Is this more imposter syndrome? Hello, this is just a brief glimpse into the deep well of overthinking I've done about these books over the past 5 years. I do think I still want to pursue a real publisher this year? But also maybe not. I don't fucking know. I am in book limbo. 

I also can't shake the feeling that I'm a much better poet than prose writer. I also learned that there are a whole bunch of people who think in like pictures? Like their thoughts while they're writing are like they're in a movie of everything happening, and I mostly think in words and I wonder if that stunts my ability to write prose? IDK. 

I knit A LOT of hats this winter, crocheted Ugly Blanket Jr. for my brother, made some tie dye stuff with my partner, started and ditched so many projects I can't keep track of them all. We added several giant containers to our veggie garden and the flowers came in like a goddamn beautiful, messy English garden (look!)

  

 

So I guess I don't really know what my writing goals are for this year (and we're 5 months in, yikes!) but I am trying really hard to get this second book of poetry out. It might end up going through Amazon again, just because it seems like they're the best for self publishing rn and the body of my poetry has already been through them. I just hate the idea of Jeff Bezos profiting off of my money- to be fair, the amount I sell books of poetry is just so miniscule. I'm pretty sure he makes more money in the time it takes to sneeze. Honestly, at my normal people job, I think I probably make more money in the time it takes to sneeze than I have off of self publishing. So meh? Does it matter? IDK, that's a thought for overthinking Kit to ponder later, then again, and possibly a third time, definitely a few times in a row while trying to sleep.

Our writing group seems to be hibernating. I hope it can find some life again soon. It ebbs and flows and I'm okay with that... I do too. 

Listening...

So I listen off and on to the podcast Start with This. SwT is accessible and frequently very motivating. Joseph & Jeffrey have a pretty good banter vibe and the writing prompts are helpful. I like how they structure it all, too. Do I do the prompts every time? Absolutely not, that's a level of consistency I would need to be medicated to achieve. Just keeping it real, y'all.

I've tried several other podcasts, but it seems like most of the writing podcasts I've found are too academic to keep my interest. Don't get me wrong, I was a baby academic in the throes of snobbery back in college, but that cost me a lot of money and put me in over a decades worth of debt that I could barely juggle and survive (and wouldn't have, if not for the love and help of friends and family). I'm not paying somebody to bore me death again. Fool me once, shame and debt on me, Fool me twice, well fuck, I just can't afford it. 

But if anybody is reading this and they have some good suggestions, I'd love to give them a try. 

So I guess that's a pretty good general update/ramblebramble. I hope everybody is having a fabulous week and I'll write at y'all again soon. Promise!

Love and rainy days,

Kit

As always, if you like (love) this content and want to support my writing outside of the big bad projects, and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter. 

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

Imbolc blessings

Happy Monday, 

blessed Imbolc, 

and a powerful Black History Month, dear readers!

Imbolc is Brigid's sabbat. It's when we heathens of a particular flavor celebrate poetry, rebirth, the sun's return, fertility, inspiration, fire & light, music, and smithery. I've blogged about my love of Imbolc in the past, because it's always a powerful way to pull me out of the post-Yule doldrums, and there are few things I love more than cold, bonfires, and poetry.

Even if you don't celebrate Imbolc, I invite you to take a few quiet moments to reflect on some new or beloved poetry. I recommend you check out the Poetry Foundations' article on Lucille Clifton

cutting greens
by Lucille Clifton

curling them around
i hold their bodies in obscene embrace
thinking of everything but kinship.
collards and kale
strain against each strange other
away from my kissmaking hand and
the iron bedpot.
the pot is black,
the cutting board is black,
|my hand,
and just for a minute
the greens roll black under the knife,
and the kitchen twists dark on its spine
and I taste in my natural appetite
the bond of live things everywhere.

I believe it would be a mistake to end the post here. It's important to say the words out loud, especially on a day to honor and revere poets and Black Americans (all month, all year). Poetry is not white. It's not straight. It's not cisgender. We must read, hear, see black voices every day. Our country is sick with White Supremacy and we can't heal together if we don't hear now. Black Americans are dying every day from systematic racism; in the justice system, at the hands of police, and even in healthcare. Just this week an article was posted that a Black man, father & husband, David Bell, died in the Barnes-Jewish hospital parking lot after being refused care (the third time). Not to mention the outrageous mortality rate for Black mothers and babies in our hospital systems (an issue that tennis GOAT all time champ of all things, Serena Williams has talked about at length after the birth of her daughter). 

Those of us white poets must step up to stand behind Black (and BIPOC) folks because there is no other time. Now is the time. Now will always be the time.

20 Black Poets You Should Know & Love.

Read, but also think about how you can help in your daily life.

Today, I'd like to recall the last lines of Amanda Gormon's inaugural poem, "The Hill We Climb":

When day comes we step out of the shade,
aflame and unafraid
The new dawn blooms as we free it
For there is always light,
if only we’re brave enough to see it
If only we’re brave enough to be it

Black voices are powerful, beautiful, and important. They are the light. Black poets paved a highway through our collective histories with tales of humanity, queerness, womanhood, Blackness, gender, family...  We owe an incalculable debt to our Black poets, past and present, for saying the hard, the joyous, the invisible things that many of us white people want to ignore (except during Black History Month). 

Normally I would end my blog post with a little blip about supporting my writing through ko-fi or what have you. Today, I want you to go support a Black voice. Read a poem by a Black poet to your child or your partner or your bestfriend. Listen, hear, be vulnerable and uncomfortable, learn, heal, elevate. Go on, go read some Audre Lorde or Rita Dove.

Love,

Kit

Writing & ADHD

 It's Monday. It's raining. It's chilly. If you're anything like me, your brain is swirling with all the things you want to get done this week, and your coffee has been empty for hours. Honestly, it's offensive. I need my bean juice to last longer, y'all. 

I wracked my brain over what I would write about today. I have brainstorming lists to choose from, but I wasn't feeling any of the topics. I went for a lunch walk, listened to TAKÉNOBU, and searched my soul for what was really going on, and it occurred to me, I haven't written at length about what it's like to write with ADHD.

Hello, I'm Kit, and I have ADHD. I write words (and draw, skate, hula-hoop, knit, crochet, paint, craft, etc., etc.) There are a LOT of creatives in the ADHD community but most of us will tell you we have the struggles. 

Writing schedules? Uhhhhhhhhh

Finishing Projects? Ummmmmm. 

Goal setting for projects? Sure, let's do that! And at the end of the year, I'll have tossed them aside and down 4 other things.

It's rough, y'all. Especially when so many successful writers go on about 5 THINGS YOU NEED TO BE A GOOD WRITER and they're literally all tips on how to be neurotypical. 

So how do you manage your writing, when you're ADHD, and you ran out of hyperfocus gas? This isn't rhetorical, if you have some brain hacks you want to share I WANT TO HEAR THEM. 

These are ways that I currently tackle it:

1. Forgiving myself and being kind when I don't live up to my own expectations. It's so easy to fall down the feelings pit when I stumble in my craft. I'm all over the place with projects & ideas and most of them don't stick. That doesn't make me a bad person, a bad writer, but it does mean I have to be radically kind to my little inner critic. Sometimes I'll list projects I have finished and thrust into the world, or I'll review the list, to remind myself that I am capable of completing projects and that they're pretty darn good. 
   
   
2. I created this very blog to help motivate myself to consistency, to inspire myself, and to keep myself writing. I had grand plans, of course, when I started it. I've given myself so many different writing schedules for this blog. Right now, I'm trying to write once a week (Mondays, what whaaat!) I go through periods where I write my thoughts on the craft, where I write actual poetry or prose and share it, but I try to keep it flexible. I use my blog to ground me, and sometimes it works. Sometimes I forget about it and get lost in writer's block. When that happens, I have to go back to #1.
   
   
3. I've recently started listening to the Start With This podcast and tackling the 2 assignments per episode (1 to consume, 1 to create). Podcasts about writing have been a good way to kick my brain into plotting & scheming. If you have some good writing podcast suggestions I would LOVE to hear them!
   
   
4. Permission to fail. Permission to succeed. Permission to look at fear of failure and fear of success in the eye and stare them down. Permission to look them in the eyes and have a little cry & a nap, as long as I dust myself off and get back up afterwards.

Well, my lunch break is almost over, so I better wrap this up! I hope y'all enjoyed reading and if you also struggle with writing & ADHD, I hope this helped or helped you feel less alone (and please, please, please share them tips 'n tricks, y'all!!)

As always, if you like (love) this content and want to support my writing outside of the big bad projects, and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter. 

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

Twenty Twenty Won

 Howdy All! 

We're well into 2021 and have already had an attempted coup at the White House. It feels a little ridiculous to be blogging about anything besides that, right now, but others have said it more succinct and powerfully .

So I'm going to indulge in some positivity and dedicate this blog to a summary of all the creative things that happened in my 2020. 

Accomplished

• Audible of my chapbook a record of night, produced & narrated by Erin Knowles
• Put out a paper copy of a record of night 💓
• Opened a ko-fi.com/KitSteitz account to work on my hustle
• Started a poetry project for August and completed it
• August project readings in December

So in a year that was one of the darkest in my (our) timeline, I feel pretty good about that shit. 

I don't know what this year will bring. Hopefully not a Fascist takeover. Really got my fingers and toes all crossed we avoid that, y'all. Every year I have to find new things to motivate me, to get me moving and kick me from dreaming to creating. Dreamers create, but also sometimes we just drink coffee and think really hard about it, then wander off and pet our dogs. 

Speaking of pawfect dogs of 2020, this is my dawg Gentle Sir Nugget and he is perfect and wonderful.

Anyway, around this time every year, I create super lofty goals for the year but honestly, I just throw ideas at a wall and see which one sticks. You do what you can do, when you can do it.

Dreams for 2021

• Werk werk werk on my novels (work on my fear about those novels, too)
• Prepare and publish August project Chapbook
• Maybe a few live poetry readings? YT live or FB live? questions, questions
• Collab with at least one fabulous human
• Consume craft-related podcasts & essays etc., etc
• Maybe another poetry-month project?
• Maybe work on that ridiculous queer space opera podcast

IDK, felt cute, might not accomplish any of these later. 

As always, if you like (love) this content and want to support my writing outside of the big bad projects, and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter. 

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

I am not a writer, am I?

This is a blog for writers who don't know if they're writers

Spoiler: 

You are.

I am not a consistent writer. All the writing podcasts and advice books etc, etc., say you need to develop consistent writing schedule and remain vigilant and rigorous and all these things that I 100% absolutely am not and do not. And maybe that is the marker between success and mediocrity- but do I need to be successful to be good and take joy in what I'm doing. Nah.

Is this an excuse? Probably, but it's also real life. Look, I've written 4 books, 3 of which I may someday publish, and 2 chapbooks, 1 of which is published. I'm 38. Has anybody noticed my writing outside of my friends and family? Not likely. 

Sometimes I wonder why I keep doing it. What's the purpose, if it doesn't make a broad impact? In a capitalist society, are we good at something if we can't make a living on it? 

That is a resounding yes. Look, art and writing and poetry, and all the textile arts, these have been around as long as human history. We have written human history because of us, for fucks sake. It's taken me decades to deprogram that academic snobbery (and it's probably still hanging in there in the dark, un-swept corners), but we don't need all that shit to create works of beauty, works that embody our lives and our hearts. 

I am a writer. I don't write when I'm supposed to... I don't write how I'm supposed to, but I am a writer. I am a writer. I am an artist. I am a musician. I am an athlete. I am my own validation (but like, it's cool if you want to validate me too, I'm a Virgo and a person and I like that shit).

Are you also a writer or an artist. It's okay to say that. Don't demean it, don't denigrate it. You get to own this. If you write, you're a writer. If you're taking a break from writing, you're still a writer. You are a writer.

So here are some tips from a
Not-Famous-At-All Writer 

Who Has These Same Struggles

Please feel free to add any in the comments <3 

1. Create through and with fear. Look, it would be wildly unrealistic to say that you can create without fear. If you've ever started a massive writing project, there's a really good chance you've struggled with it: fear that you're not good enough, that you're faking it (hellooooo imposter syndrome), that it's a waste of time, that nobody wants to read it, any number of things. Creation is also sitting with those fears, holding them gently, and knowing that they are not your truth. Accept them as a part of your narrative, but you don't have to hold them as your reality.
   
   
2. Take a break from creating and live your life. You breathe new life into your words with new experiences, new feelings. A break is just time to till the earth and plant the seeds.
   
   
3. Don't give up. Woof, this one is hard to write, because I super want to give up on this novel and I've been talking about finishing it for years but it just feels so hard and big and I don't know how to do it. Butt in seat, fingers on keyboard, love and forgiveness to myself.
   
   
4. Get constructive feedback from other writers. On your work, but also on your progress. It helps to have somebody who knows what struggs you strugging and can speak to it. Cultivate your writer/artist friends.
   
   
5. Share your finished products with your friends and family. Your voice deserves to be heard and you are wonderful and goddamn am I SO PROUD OF YOU FOR FINISHING THE THING. HOLY HELL, THAT'S SO AMAZING AND HARD AND POWERFUL.
   
   
6. Own your creation. Say, write, sing that you are a writer. Know that deep in your big, squishy, wonderful heart. Keep saying it. 

I like lists. I hope you liked this list! And don't forget- if you like this content and want to support my writing and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter. 

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

The day has come!! BIG NEWS!!!!

 What up my fine friends!?! BIG NEWS BIG NEWS BIG NEWS!!!!

GUESS WHAT? 

Erin Knowles' 

beautiful narration of my chapbook of poetry, a record of night, is NOW AVAILABLE ON AUDIBLE!!!!!!

Erin breathes life into my old dusty words and I am SO HONORED that she chose my chapbook to lilt through. It's been such a treat to work with with her through this process, through the ups and downs of technical difficulties, and I think you'll really enjoy the outcome.

The audible is only $3.95, which frankly is an absolute steal considering all the craft  and love that went into this production. 

Please check it out! If you like what you hear, we'd love if you could leave a review and give us some stars  

Happy FRIYAY!!!!!

Buy some poetry today 

knock knock

Who's there?

It's me, ya Kit! And my chapbook from 2013, a record of night, is now available all over the place. I just discovered this when I googled it randomly today. 

Catch me at Indiebound

Catch me at Books-A-Million

So hey, you can buy them there, too! So buy my poetry, y'all. It's pretty decent, ok. And SOON THERE WILL BE AN AUDIBLE NARRATED BY THE INCOMPARABLE E.M. KNOWLES... SO YEAH.

Okay.

Love y'all. Keep on NaNoWriMoing!

What I'm reading in 2020...

I absolutely adore spooky season. The holiday season is the magic that gets me through the year and it all starts with a little boo and a lot of ancestors. Please do not forget the Reeses pumpkins, because I have not.

On this perfect, cloudy Fall day, I was going through and updating my Goodreads account and realized I've read some fan-fucking-tastic books this year. Thinking about all these books again, I found myself wanting to talk more about them-
 so straight from my bookshelves to your eyes, here are my top 5 reads (so far) of 2020:

1. Children of Blood & Bone by Tomi Adeyemi
   This book is brilliant on every level. Just read it. Stop reading reviews about it, go to the library or your local bookstore, buy it, and settle in for the night. You need this book in your life. Fantasy, magic, rebellion, pathos, love, betrayal, family... It is the best and most perfect book ever written. I am biased because I could not tear myself away. All of the books in this list were AMAZING, but this is possibly the best book I've read since I can remember. 
2. Legendborn by Tracy Deonn
   This YA book is completely, utterly engrossing. If you like urban fantasy and a mash-up of The Order and Arthurian mythology mixed with a healthy dose of American history, this novel was written for you. Deonn explores what it means to be a young, Black girl in White fantasy; what it's like to be written out of the stories and how to the protagonist, Bree, fights to find her own story forward and back in time. Y'all, her story is so powerful and mighty, I can't even. Shout out for the LGBTQ representation, too! As non binary folk, it was nice to read another they/them. It was nice to read queer couples casually a part of the fabric of this rich, complex story. 
3. The Binti Trilogy by Nnedi Okorafor
   I utterly savored the Binti trilogy. This novel is set in a alt future Africa and follows a Himba girl, named Binti on her journey to the Oomza Uni, the best university in the galaxy. I literally can't tell you any of the juicy adventures without giving away big plot points, but I can tell you that Binti is so incredible (the book and the human). Her journey is complex, and messy, and despite the living space ships and math-magic, utterly real. This is a beautiful and delicious read.
4. The Deep by Rivers Solomon with Daveed Diggs, William Hutson, Jonathan Snipes
   I'm not sure I have the words for this book. Look, it's amazing. It explores the culture of Black mermaids who are descendant from pregnant slave women thrown overboard Slaver ships. It explores memory & trauma & collective & self. It's a song and a story, a struggle and life. While it's a short read, I found myself pausing often, to go back and re-read, to think, to feel what was happening. Just thinking about this story makes me want to cry and hold it close to my chest. Read this book. 
5. Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
   Y'all, look, when my partner texted me about this book, they said simply "GAY NECROMANCER IN SPACE" so obviously we went and bought two copies. It's the first in a series (the second one just came out last month), and it does deliver on the gay, space necromancy. Tamsyn has created a complex world and a protagonist (Gideon) that galivants about with brazen ferocity. I have one, huge, giant, major complaint but it is a MASSIVE spoiler, so if you've read it and want to dish with me, hmu. Up until the last action sequence, I rate it 10/10, but it drops down to a 5/10 after that. Worth the read, and nice to have a queer lead, but gird yourself for the end. My hopes are that it will redeem itself in the next book. 

That's it, my fine readers. What are you reading right now? 

And don't forget- if you like this content and want to support my writing and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook of poetry a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads.

HOT OFF THE PRESS!!

Y'all, I am so excited!!! My author copies came in for a record of night!!!

Looky looky!!!

They look so flipping good!! I can't believe how good they look. This is blowing my mind, y'all. 

Want your own copy to have and hold? Click here.

This is how to start my Friday off proper. Have a fabulous weekend, y'all!

Love & gratitude,

Kit

Holy Cannoli & ko-fi problems (boooo)

Okay before the big awesome news, let's do the Ko-Fi update. Get it out of the way.

Ko-Fi updates (boooooo)

So the other news is that Ko-Fi submits my donations in a manner that requires me to have a specific set-up in Paypal. It would have been nice to know this ahead of time, but unfortunately I didn't find out until my first donation. I'm working with my bank and paypal to get it all figured out and hopefully it will all be squared away by Wednesday.

So those who donate during this time have a couple options:

• They can wait until Wednesday to read the posted August poems 
  or 
• they can contact me via email foonalina at gmail dot com and I will send them their very own copies! 
• All who donate during this time will receive a little something extra extra for their patience! 

And now for the good news...

The paperback of a record of night is NOW AVAILABLE!!!! 

If you want to read my tiny chapbook in physical form, go get you a copy!

I mean, just look at this! It's so legit, y'all.

That's it for now, friends! 

-Kit

Thoughts on self publishing and all this stuff

I'm two days into August and my poetry challenge on Ko-Fi. My goal is to get a cuppa donated once a day but we'll see how reasonable that is. 

I have NO idea how to increase my audience, or garner an engaged audience, so I've just started posting to twitter and fb and hoping something comes out of it. It's difficult, because I've kept this blog since 2011 and I still don't have regular readers or commenters. I feel like I'm just writing into the void. Of course I've internalized it and told myself it's because I'm a crap person, writer, poet, and people just intrinsically pick up on that. 

"Why even post, it's already failed."

"Nobody engages with these posts, let alone goes to the text. I should give up now."

"Give upon this project. Nobody cares."

"Nobody cares because you don't have anything new to say, and you don't say it in a new way."

"People don't care about poetry or reading, let alone reading some no-name."

"You haven't don't this a traditional way, so folks will just assume it's vanity without substance."

Woo, it feels real vulnerable to actually type all of that out. These stories feel true to me and I'm not sure how to re-frame them, but I'm working on it because I do give up and quit because of these stories. At least once a year, I completely give up because what's the point. And then I read professional writer's blogs to hype myself up, about how I should be writing to be a writer (typically very prescriptive) and that reinforces my internal narrative that I'm a fake, that I don't know what I'm doing, and that I will never be even moderately successful. 

To counter this internal narrative, I know intellectually I'm dealing with a lot of impostor syndrome. Don't know what that is? It sucks and many folks who have been raised outside of white, heteronormative, dude privilege know about this and experience it on a very deeply ingrained level.

I also think there's some other stuff going into these internal narratives... like how the idea that if I work hard, I'll be successful is so deeply ingrained in Americans. Even though it's just capitalist propaganda that bears no relevance to most of us, I've definitely internalized that, as well as many, many other Americans.  So if I'm not successful, it's my fault for not working hard enough, not producing a good product, or generally doing something wrong. 

If you're reading this, thank you. I want to be clear that I'm not trying to guilt or shame anybody into supporting me- and that concern is a large reason why I haven't been open with this struggle. I want folks to read my writing because it's good and they get something from it, not because they feel bad for me. Oh my dog, please don't ever do that. 

I don't know how to end this. I guess, that's just what's going on with me, y'all. Thanks for bearing with me for this post <3 I'll keep writing, keep posting, keep going regardless. 

 

The bounty, poems on ko-fi, and a fragment

Heylo readers!

The big news for today is that I'll be writing a poem every day for the month of August. 

If you'd like to read those poems, I'll be posting them to Ko-Fi.com/kitsteitz and they'll be available for anybody who buys me a cup of coffee throughout the month! 

Look at this pretty hibiscus bloom from my garden!

And now, a fragment of a poem that I found hiding in some lost folder~

a knocking

The robins know you're

here- a call for courting

and the tastes of garlic

and honey follow you in

through the front door

That's all I got, folks. Happy Friday! I'll post the first August poem tomorrow!

love and gratitude,

Kitikins

Toss a coin to your Witcher!

Hello, dear readers!

This is the week of exciting news and I'm so glad y'all are with me on this wild ride. I've decided to start a ko-fi ("coffee") page so that there is a place for y'all to support my projects and help me keep creating. 

I have several future plans for this page including q&a videos, special requests, readings that will be available specifically to my ko-fi supporters. I'm also interested in your ideas for what you'd like from this support page! I don't want to detract from the big projects I'm working on, though, so I want to start small and build what we can make work with my writing schedule. 

What projects would you be supporting right now? 

• Weekly (at minimum) blog posts.
• A queer fantasy trilogy (not currently available, still in rough rough draft phase).
• a new chapbook of new poetry that will be posted to this blog as I go, then collected together for publication!
• a podcast that will be revealed and revealing very soon.

I have a couple other projects that I want to get to, but these are my current babies. The others, mere twinkles in my eye.

Here's a little video I made that describes it more fully. Check it out! It was made in reverse land.

Right now it's set up so you can only make a single donation, but there will be a way to do this as a monthly contributor in the future!

You can support me by clicking here or clicking anytime on the button on the right toolbar of this blog. Toss a coin to your Witcher, y'all. 

Questions? Let me know. I probably have answers!

Much love & gratitude,

Kit Steitz

More fabulous updates!

Hello, readers!

It's a rainy, warm summer day in Columbia. The sky is dark with clouds and the pups are searching for places to hide from the booming thunder.

Here is a random spider web from my backyard, just for you!

So here's the update- Amazon updated my name so my author page and book are listed under my actual name! That feels pretty affirming and stuff. Check me out...

• Kit Steitz's Amazon author page
• The 2020 revision of a record of night, with my correct name, and a brand new cover!

Dog days of summer, Pandemic edition

Dog Summer~

Kiera in a sunbeam,
ear twitch, joy,
nose wiggle,
so many smells!

Hello, my readers! It's days away from August and we're hip deep in a Pandemic. Here in Missouri, very few people have given any fucks and we are left with rocketing numbers of positive Covid-19 cases, so our family is very home-bound. Between furlough and telecommuting, our family has created 2 new flower beds and installed our first victory garden! I have phlox and gladiolas blooming, tomatoes ripening, and a new sense of general okayedness. As I write this, I'm sitting in the afternoon shade on my back porch- Keira is begging to be let in and the air conditioning unit is louder than my music, but all and all, it's pretty alright.

There are a few big creative projects on the horizon that I'm excited to share SOON. Not yet, but SOON.

One is a silly podcast that can best be described as lowfi, low key, and low-brow. But shhhhh! That's not public yet!!

I've slowly updated my various writing profiles to include my new name, pronouns, and information, and working on republishing my chapbook a record of night. I'm an OKAY novelist, but I'm a damn good poet, so keep alert for the big reveal! New name, new cover, new forward, same love <3

And a project so hush hush I can't even hint about it, but I AM SO EXCITED I WILL LEAVE THE CAPSLOCK ON. I can't wait to share it with y'all.

Hope y'all are doing your best during this shitty period in our history.

Love and future vaccines,
Kit

A poem about mountains

After sunrise

Our tongues burn
from the Christmas sauce
in the best
breakfast burritos Española 
has to offer.

We four traveled
Past the black mesa,
peaks stretch across
the bright horizon,
a mountain range
like a heartbeat,
or waves of music
dipping into the
next bow stroke.

Snow, punctuated by
trails of hoof prints,
a herd of elks
trekking across the
Valles Caldera.

Back in Columbia,
I found hatch peppers
in the grocers,
And we made
enchilada bowls and
we remembered
Sledding in the
Mountains.

More snow poetry

Snow clouds wrap around the
horizon like a blanket you just
pulled from a cold linen closet
I long to see a the red splash of a
cardinal darting between snow
covered branches, diving for seeds,
before the next arctic storm
covers us in a fresh layer of snow,
gives me an excuse to join you
under the comforter and wrap
around each other.

Snow poem

I don't know if you've heard, but the Midwest had record levels of snow last weekend. I helped one of my partners dig out and I can tell you, I felt every 20 inches of those drifts. I started a poem over the snow day but was distracted by hot coco, so I never finished it.

Then I lost it! First poem I've written in 2 years and I lost it.

So I'm going to pull a Tenacious D moment and give you a poem about the greatest snow poem that ever was. It's not the poem, but a tribute.


Snow Poem
a tribute

It snowed 20" this weekend-
The Bradford Pear was laden
with the heavy weight of a
winter storm, boughs creaked
in the whip-cold wind, puffs of
white exploded and dropped heavy
to the drifts below until 20 inches
felt more like 30 inches and
the dog was lost beneath;
I know you were wishing
that the snow would finish off
that invasive tree, would snap it in
twain, but you didn't say it out loud.