Writing & ADHD

 It's Monday. It's raining. It's chilly. If you're anything like me, your brain is swirling with all the things you want to get done this week, and your coffee has been empty for hours. Honestly, it's offensive. I need my bean juice to last longer, y'all. 

I wracked my brain over what I would write about today. I have brainstorming lists to choose from, but I wasn't feeling any of the topics. I went for a lunch walk, listened to TAKÉNOBU, and searched my soul for what was really going on, and it occurred to me, I haven't written at length about what it's like to write with ADHD.

Hello, I'm Kit, and I have ADHD. I write words (and draw, skate, hula-hoop, knit, crochet, paint, craft, etc., etc.) There are a LOT of creatives in the ADHD community but most of us will tell you we have the struggles. 

Writing schedules? Uhhhhhhhhh

Finishing Projects? Ummmmmm. 

Goal setting for projects? Sure, let's do that! And at the end of the year, I'll have tossed them aside and down 4 other things.

It's rough, y'all. Especially when so many successful writers go on about 5 THINGS YOU NEED TO BE A GOOD WRITER and they're literally all tips on how to be neurotypical. 

So how do you manage your writing, when you're ADHD, and you ran out of hyperfocus gas? This isn't rhetorical, if you have some brain hacks you want to share I WANT TO HEAR THEM. 

These are ways that I currently tackle it:

1. Forgiving myself and being kind when I don't live up to my own expectations. It's so easy to fall down the feelings pit when I stumble in my craft. I'm all over the place with projects & ideas and most of them don't stick. That doesn't make me a bad person, a bad writer, but it does mean I have to be radically kind to my little inner critic. Sometimes I'll list projects I have finished and thrust into the world, or I'll review the list, to remind myself that I am capable of completing projects and that they're pretty darn good. 
   
   
2. I created this very blog to help motivate myself to consistency, to inspire myself, and to keep myself writing. I had grand plans, of course, when I started it. I've given myself so many different writing schedules for this blog. Right now, I'm trying to write once a week (Mondays, what whaaat!) I go through periods where I write my thoughts on the craft, where I write actual poetry or prose and share it, but I try to keep it flexible. I use my blog to ground me, and sometimes it works. Sometimes I forget about it and get lost in writer's block. When that happens, I have to go back to #1.
   
   
3. I've recently started listening to the Start With This podcast and tackling the 2 assignments per episode (1 to consume, 1 to create). Podcasts about writing have been a good way to kick my brain into plotting & scheming. If you have some good writing podcast suggestions I would LOVE to hear them!
   
   
4. Permission to fail. Permission to succeed. Permission to look at fear of failure and fear of success in the eye and stare them down. Permission to look them in the eyes and have a little cry & a nap, as long as I dust myself off and get back up afterwards.

Well, my lunch break is almost over, so I better wrap this up! I hope y'all enjoyed reading and if you also struggle with writing & ADHD, I hope this helped or helped you feel less alone (and please, please, please share them tips 'n tricks, y'all!!)

As always, if you like (love) this content and want to support my writing outside of the big bad projects, and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter. 

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

Nature inspo-

Happy Tuesday, my friends!

Let's talk about inspiration for writing poetry, or just writing in general. Somedays, weeks, years, it's hard to just sit down and find the words. Sometimes it's anxiety, sometimes fear, sometimes you're frustrated with your own personal lexicon (is that a blog for another day? Mayhaps!). There are a lot of different tips 'n tricks out there for how to inspire yourself out of a rut. If you're like me, you'll google it then spend time reading so many different tips n tricks that the Overwhelm just piles onto everything else and you end up giving up and wonder off to find a cookie or take a nap. So this isn't a list, and it's certainly not exhaustive. 

Personally, I like to get out into nature. Nature walks are my tried and true first step to combat writer's fatigue, writer's blocks, ruts, whatever you want to call it. It doesn't require any prep, just a water bottle and shoes you don't mind getting muddy. Nature is a powerful tool; it's playtime for adults. I like to get dirty, and lost, and race against the sun. I like to spend 3 hours playing in a creek, and 30 minutes running along the trail to get back before it's pitch black outside. I find it grounding to just dig in and be present and a little feral. 

But it's also a way to learn new words, new concepts, and new ways of thinking, and that shit's always good for writing. Take an ID book, not your cellphone, and go for a hike in the woods or park. What identification book should you get? That depends, what interests you? Wildflowers, fungi, trees, rocks, insects? Pick one and go get lost in the woods. Sit on an old igneous rock next to a creek and count the fossils, make a crayon rubbing of it, catalogue it in your journal, snap a photo. Climb a tree and sit there, balanced, in the air, and ID that leaning Sycamore growing near the bluff.

This is the stuff, my friends. If you're struggling to find the words, go learn something new about the world around you and learn it with your whole body. Feel it, see it, smell it, touch it, roll in it, poke it... but don't eat it unless you know for sure that it's not poisonous. Seriously.

Don't eat poison. I cannot stress this enough.

Hope y'all have a wildly creative and/or restorative week. The sun is coming back 💓

it's log it's log it's better than bad it's good

Love & sunshine & snow & moonlight,

Yours,

Kit

As always, if you like (love) this content and want to support my writing outside of the big bad projects, and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter. 

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

 

I am not a writer, am I?

This is a blog for writers who don't know if they're writers

Spoiler: 

You are.

I am not a consistent writer. All the writing podcasts and advice books etc, etc., say you need to develop consistent writing schedule and remain vigilant and rigorous and all these things that I 100% absolutely am not and do not. And maybe that is the marker between success and mediocrity- but do I need to be successful to be good and take joy in what I'm doing. Nah.

Is this an excuse? Probably, but it's also real life. Look, I've written 4 books, 3 of which I may someday publish, and 2 chapbooks, 1 of which is published. I'm 38. Has anybody noticed my writing outside of my friends and family? Not likely. 

Sometimes I wonder why I keep doing it. What's the purpose, if it doesn't make a broad impact? In a capitalist society, are we good at something if we can't make a living on it? 

That is a resounding yes. Look, art and writing and poetry, and all the textile arts, these have been around as long as human history. We have written human history because of us, for fucks sake. It's taken me decades to deprogram that academic snobbery (and it's probably still hanging in there in the dark, un-swept corners), but we don't need all that shit to create works of beauty, works that embody our lives and our hearts. 

I am a writer. I don't write when I'm supposed to... I don't write how I'm supposed to, but I am a writer. I am a writer. I am an artist. I am a musician. I am an athlete. I am my own validation (but like, it's cool if you want to validate me too, I'm a Virgo and a person and I like that shit).

Are you also a writer or an artist. It's okay to say that. Don't demean it, don't denigrate it. You get to own this. If you write, you're a writer. If you're taking a break from writing, you're still a writer. You are a writer.

So here are some tips from a
Not-Famous-At-All Writer 

Who Has These Same Struggles

Please feel free to add any in the comments <3 

1. Create through and with fear. Look, it would be wildly unrealistic to say that you can create without fear. If you've ever started a massive writing project, there's a really good chance you've struggled with it: fear that you're not good enough, that you're faking it (hellooooo imposter syndrome), that it's a waste of time, that nobody wants to read it, any number of things. Creation is also sitting with those fears, holding them gently, and knowing that they are not your truth. Accept them as a part of your narrative, but you don't have to hold them as your reality.
   
   
2. Take a break from creating and live your life. You breathe new life into your words with new experiences, new feelings. A break is just time to till the earth and plant the seeds.
   
   
3. Don't give up. Woof, this one is hard to write, because I super want to give up on this novel and I've been talking about finishing it for years but it just feels so hard and big and I don't know how to do it. Butt in seat, fingers on keyboard, love and forgiveness to myself.
   
   
4. Get constructive feedback from other writers. On your work, but also on your progress. It helps to have somebody who knows what struggs you strugging and can speak to it. Cultivate your writer/artist friends.
   
   
5. Share your finished products with your friends and family. Your voice deserves to be heard and you are wonderful and goddamn am I SO PROUD OF YOU FOR FINISHING THE THING. HOLY HELL, THAT'S SO AMAZING AND HARD AND POWERFUL.
   
   
6. Own your creation. Say, write, sing that you are a writer. Know that deep in your big, squishy, wonderful heart. Keep saying it. 

I like lists. I hope you liked this list! And don't forget- if you like this content and want to support my writing and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook & audible of poetry, a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads or follow me on Twitter. 

Please show me some love and leave a comment, review, or rating on any of these platforms! Have an awesome day, my friends.

Pantster NaNo prep in 5 Easy Steps

 In the NaNoWriMo world, you have pantster and preppers, and those of us in between. 

You planner planny plan-type methodical folks have plenty of guides out there to the Perfect (TM) way to prep, so I'm not going to help y'all. You've probably already spent September reading blogs, watching youtube videos, or IDK snapchats? about it. You've got this under control.

This is a blog the messy rest of us.

Hello pantsters and plansters, thanks for reading. This won't be a prescriptive guide because if you're here, we both know that doesn't work for you already. If you're like me, I could create a million outlines and storyboards and still veer off course in a matter of 20 words, because for a lot of us, it's not just about the story, it's about how we engage with the story. When I started NaNo over a decade ago, I tried everything I could think of. My first novel was 100000% by the seat of my pants (and awful and hopefully lost forever). After that, I tried all the different ways. If we're being honest with ourselves, this is an incredibly difficult task and if we get bogged down in the how, we forget the do. So October is crucial, this prep is crucial, but ultimately keeping your ass in seat and writing is the only thing that matters.

Thing 1: Identify what interests you and how you stay interested

Your first step to figuring out how to be effective here is to figure out what gets your juices going (and what keeps them going). This is the most important step. If you're like me, you'll spend October meticulously planning your novel (gets me going), and then as you jump into November, you'll get bored and start changing it right and left (brings me joy). Add a dragon here, an immaculate conception there, maybe some torture? Really bored? Kill somebody. So planning helps me get excited, but being flexible and adaptable while I'm writing keeps me going. Maybe for you, it's the world building? Or the character creation? Do you like to doodle your characters to get ideas? Do it.

Ultimately, no two writers are the same. What works for me may not work for you, but I hope this guide can help you start brainstorming ideas and thinking about what works for you.

Thing 2: Get to know your characters

Do outlines kill you, deep inside? Does knowing where your story will take you bore you down to your bones? Then don't fucking do it. Take this prep time to figure out your characters and the world they'll be in. That way, when you sit down on Nov 1st, you already have a relationship with them and you know how they'll behave and what you'd like them to do. 

I do this in a lot of ways:

• Create character sheets (like in D&D)
• Create Pinterest boards of celebrities that look like my characters, of places that remind me of where I'd like them to live or for some of the plot to happen
• Create a playlist that makes you think of the characters or gets you in the mood
• Write a few short stories that are centered on your characters (or in the world) to get a feel for it all and really shift gears into this new and wonderful place.
• Talk it out with your writerly friends. Sometimes you just need to ramble about your ideas (it's called rubber ducking) and be sure to let your friend ramble their ideas too! 
• Something I haven't listed- get creative! This is about finding out who you're writing about! This list isn't exhaustive.
• Don't forget your villains. Villains are fun and deserve to be fleshed out, as it were.

Thing 3: Get to know your world

You don't have to know exactly what it looks like but it helps to have an idea before you jump into this. Here's a list of ways I've done it or plan to try it:

• Pinterest that shit, look up pictures of places all around the world and save it to your pinterest vision board
• Create a visitor's guide and include the info you think it's important for folks to know.
• Draw a crude map. My first world map was on a napkin. This does not need to be elaborate.
• Sometimes I like to doodle unusual flora and fauna that might be in my worlds.

Ultimately, you'll probably want to think of the core nugget of the plot.

Thing 4: CONFLICT

You don't have to outline the main story, but you should have some idea as to what your main conflict looks like. Write it out, draw it out, sing it out. Just work through it and keep a note of it somewhere to glance at- it can be one sentence, "Jameela's mother died under mysterious circumstances and she wants to find out what really happened" or perhaps "Randal needs to visit his ailing cousin but there is a Giant Fucking Serpant in the way" are examples that are perfectly suitable. 

"Jane doesn't like ham" might even work, IDK your life. Write what makes you happy.

Just figure out what the central conflict is and keep track of it.

Thing 5: Keep track of your shit

This is a two parter- 

1. Store all of your files together. I use google drive, but you do what you want. You will probably have to access some of your character or world work as you go, so it's good to have it somewhere you can pull up quickly.
   
   
2. Start & keep an ongoing file of character names, appearance, and relationships. For example:
   Durga, sister, tall brown hair blue eyes thick likes apples
   Shiela, lover, short, thin, green eyes red hair, slight
   
   I also include like quick world notes here too, and slang I make up along the way. Anything you might forget and need a quick ref for.
   
   This way allows you a quick reference while you're writing, so if you create a totally random character out of the blue, one you hadn't planned, you can pull them up 50 pages later and have the details correct. This is really important time saver for pantsters and plansters, because when we deviate, we can record it and refer back to it without needing to retcon anything or spend precious writing time tracking it down in the rough draft.

Good luck, writers! Have fun and curse the gods!

And don't forget- if you like this content and want to support my writing and read supporter-only content, you can buy me a cuppa at ko.fi. You can also purchase my chapbook of poetry a record of night at Amazon. If you're so inclined, you can also follow my author page at goodreads.

5 tips for writing in a pandemic...

    This weekend, I set myself to the task of editing the 28 poems I wrote in August. It felt like a feat, and I had a sneaking suspicion that the August poems would be less, but what I found surprised me. Were some of them garbage? Yes, of course. But there were clear themes I was struggling with that united them, without intention or purpose during the writing the process: themes of pandemic & climate change related fear and grief, of feeling othered and alone. I'm sure there are other things unifying the work, but these specifically spoke to me while I was editing. 

I have been straddling this uncomfortable place of needing to write and being unable to do so. From our writing workshop, I know I'm not alone. It seemed like at the beginning of this mess (at least in the US) everybody set to learn something new, create, keep busy- start that Duolingo program they've always meant to do, do a practice challenge in the skill of their choosing, Marie-Kondo their homes. We all saw it on our social media- the things we plan to do to navigate a period of great change and uncertainty. The first couple weeks, I vibed with this creative wave. I tried to learn how to jam skate, I kept my house cleanish. I read several books. But as this pandemic worsened, job security no longer existed. Every morning I woke up and scoured the news outlets to see what departments were being laid off on my campus. George Floyd was murdered by Minneapolis police, and we mourned and fought (fight) with/for our Black communities right to equality and life. My town has been rocked with ongoing protests, union actions, and our entire campus has cycled through furloughs. 

This pandemic has been a time of change and deep fear. Somewhere along the way, I lost my ability to cope. My resilience went from like a solid 80% (made up number) to a 10%. I could not meditate away the grinding anxiety of living with a more constant and persistent fear that's now just a part of the landscape that I (we) navigate every day. I cry every day. I got into therapy at the nudge of a kind friend. I take naps when I need to (and can). 

All that to say... Who can fucking do anything, with all this shit? It's fucking hard, and if you can't bring yourself to the keyboard, or to pick up the pen, give yourself some slack. The word UNPRECEDENTED isn't being thrown around for shits and giggles. You& we are living through a crisis and right now your priority is to take care of you when you can and be kind & forgiving to yourself when you can't. Maybe call a friend or get yourself a cup of nice tea and sit outside with your dog for awhile. You are doing what you can, that that's amazing.

So here are my 5 tips for writing when you can't write:

1. Don't. Seriously, if you need to selfcare, don't write. Do what you have to do. You only have energy to help your kid with online classes today? You're a badass boss. You're trying to survive right now, and that includes being kind to yourself and recognizing when it's okay to focus on your basic, fundamental needs. Take a shower, read a comic, play with your kids, practice your necromancy. You can write later. There is no write way to do this. (that's a pun, I'm sorry).
2. Forgive yourself. You're doing the best you can. This shit is hard. I've already forgiven myself for the pun. 
3. Step away from what you were working on pre-Pandemic. Maybe you can't focus on that right now because it's not speaking a truth that's resonating for you. If you can, start a project where you can write through some of what's going on. What is our art and craft if we're not working through the hard shit? 
4. Stop, Collaborate, & Listen. You know what kicked me out of stasis? Erin Knowles texted me about working on a project together. I was so honored and also felt like the kid who opens the door to mom's accomplished & professional friend, meanwhile, there's peanut butter in my hair and gum stuck to my cheek, running around in dad's oversized t-shirt, "Mom's not home, and also did you bring me a cookie Auntie Erin??" Like this adult ass human wants to work on something... with me? It's gonna take me awhile to get the gum and peanut butter excavated, but like, how can you say no to this cool human? Have they gone feral too? I mean, honestly? Probably. Who hasn't, right now? But having her there to talk to and work with helped breathe some life back into my own writerly motivation. I found myself thinking more about writing and working on new projects. Sometimes we need to collaborate with our other creative friends because sometimes it's hard to start alone, especially when you've been isolated from the world for months. Sometimes it helps to have somebody to text pictures of wildflowers to, somebody who also gets having days where you melt (and who has their own days when they melt), and you can be gentle with each other and help each other find some light, and send kind words to when you can't find some light. 
5. Hydrate & Stretch. Look, I know we aren't world-class athletes (wait... are you? That's fucking cool). But a lot of us tend to get in our flow and stop paying attention to what our body needs. Make sure you sit down to your desk with a cup of water. Take a break and do this quick stretch for your hands and for your neck/shoulders. If you need to think out some plots or thoughts, maybe try a gentle hike or walk around the neighborhood? 

Hey friends! Thanks for reading my blog. I hope you liked it. It's free for you to read, but I still gotta make a living! 

If you liked this content, please leave me a comment because feedback is rad, or buy me a cup of coffee on Ko-Fi, because paying the bills is rad.

Dog days of summer, Pandemic edition

Dog Summer~

Kiera in a sunbeam,
ear twitch, joy,
nose wiggle,
so many smells!

Hello, my readers! It's days away from August and we're hip deep in a Pandemic. Here in Missouri, very few people have given any fucks and we are left with rocketing numbers of positive Covid-19 cases, so our family is very home-bound. Between furlough and telecommuting, our family has created 2 new flower beds and installed our first victory garden! I have phlox and gladiolas blooming, tomatoes ripening, and a new sense of general okayedness. As I write this, I'm sitting in the afternoon shade on my back porch- Keira is begging to be let in and the air conditioning unit is louder than my music, but all and all, it's pretty alright.

There are a few big creative projects on the horizon that I'm excited to share SOON. Not yet, but SOON.

One is a silly podcast that can best be described as lowfi, low key, and low-brow. But shhhhh! That's not public yet!!

I've slowly updated my various writing profiles to include my new name, pronouns, and information, and working on republishing my chapbook a record of night. I'm an OKAY novelist, but I'm a damn good poet, so keep alert for the big reveal! New name, new cover, new forward, same love <3

And a project so hush hush I can't even hint about it, but I AM SO EXCITED I WILL LEAVE THE CAPSLOCK ON. I can't wait to share it with y'all.

Hope y'all are doing your best during this shitty period in our history.

Love and future vaccines,
Kit

Grief, a personal narrative

I wrote this blog a few weeks ago and didn't publish it. I needed time to sit with it before hitting that button. So here is a personal essay for you. I hope if you're working through loss right now, you find comfort and some time to soften your focus.

All my love,
K. Steitz

...
This past week has been pretty intense in my personal life. I'm glad I had a few blog scheduled to go up over the weekend and this week, because my life has been a whirlwind of happenings and feelings, and posting was at the bottom of my list.

You know that feeling you get when you just wake up: the world is in soft focus, you're burrito-ed  in your blankets, maybe a small chihuahua mix who goes by the name of Chicken Nugget is nestled in the crook of your lower back. Everything is quiet and warm and soft.

I relish this moment. I want to live in this soft focus. I know it's not reasonable, but damn, does it feel good. Instead of relishing this moment, this weekend I lost two people. This was just mundane, daily moment of everything coming back into focus. Instead of dealing with this sharpening, I tried to maintain my break-neck speed. I didn't miss practice, I made meals for myself and my family, I went with my mother to her appointments and helped do some meal prep, I picked up my house and cleaned another, I prepared for another round of winter weather, I worked out. I didn't miss a day of work.

But I haven't processed it. I can feel the grief like a wet blanket on my chest. Grieving posts on social media slip through and I catch my breath at my dead friends' names.

I'm using this blog, right in the here and now, to process. I know it's a two sided coin, but in this moment, within the context of my here and now, it feels like life is about thriving through loss. I know there will be loss in my future, because that's just the nature of life. I expected a numbness to come with this loss, but instead I've felt like a raw nerve, exposed to the elements. I need to stop moving and be present with these feelings.

I acknowledge my grief.
I honor our time together.
I honor our imperfections and our light.

There is no craft talk in this post and no poetry. I hope that if you are also experiencing a loss like this (or if you are familiar with those who've passed, and you share this feeling), you have somebody dear to hold. That's my plan, tonight.

In the words of Michelle McNamara,
It's chaos. Be kind.

Rambling about Greek Myth Podcasts and other things...

Okay, so I've binged all of the Nightvale Presents that I can and I'm currently listening to a podcast called Let's Talk About Myths, Baby. This podcast is delightful. The podcaster, Liv, is hilarious and I love hearing interpretations of mythology that read into the very dudely narratives. I just listed to her mini myth about Daphne and rant about Theseus. Let me tell you, I was giggling over my salad, by myself, in a room filled with colleagues.

This was probably the least weird thing I did today.

During her retelling of Daphne, I made some connections that I'm sure I'm not the first to make. Current theory: The Goddess Diana? SUPES GAY. Her "virgin" followers? SUPES GAY. My next story perhaps based on her or Daphne? Possibly. Alternate interpretation? Supes Ace!

While I was thinking these thoughty thoughts, it sparked a memory. Long, long ago, when I was in JCL (that's Junior Classical League to you non-nerds), I did submitted a painting of Daphne for a contest. It did not win. I was really butt hurt about it. But apparently I really resonate with that myth, so I think that alone warrants more exploring.


So anyway, listen to that podcast. It rocks. Hope everybody is having a marvelous Monday! May inspiration strike you before the first cup of coffee!

A balancing act

Here is a list about why I haven't made my writing deadlines:

1. I didn't have time between derby
2. Family life was exploding
3. Relationships were exploding
4. The planet is exploding and I'm hella depressed about it
5. No inspiration
6. Tired
7. Sad
8. Hungry
9. Looking at a wall instead

Okay, I'm going to be real with you, this list could go on forever. I have ADHD and I do a lot of what I call "passion focus". This is a blessing and a curse. It means I can sometimes knuckle down for a month and knock out a whole lot of writing, but it also means that sometimes I hyperfocus on other things (like roller derby). A huge part of my 30s has been learning how to balance that. If I want to be a writer, how do I find ways to do it consistently? How do I do that and still find time to love and live? Because it was ingrained in me that if I couldn't handle my projects in a way that is consistent to the practices of other people without adhd, I just don't really like it, I'm not dedicated, I'm lazy, but the truth is that my brain works a little differently and it's better to learn to work with it rather than against it.

There is no right/write answer. Sometimes I can do it, sometimes I fail, but I like to think of those failures in a positive light. I may have planned to write 3 books last year and only finished 1, but holy hell, I finished an entire rough draft of a book. Shit, that's still big! 

And maybe it's not failure. In roller derby, we talk  A LOT about how important it is to fall. We fall all the time. Falling is not failure, because everybody falls. We expect you to get hit and take a fall, that's why it's so important to learn how to get back up and get back to the game. 

So I try not to view it as failure. When I fall, it's because I didn't manage my balance. No skin off my back, I assess the situation, get back up, and do my best. 

The other fabulous thing bout learning to get back up is that you learn how to assess the situation. Do I need to sit out for a few minutes so I can come back better than ever? If I can't scrimmage today, maybe I can learn more about reffing or NSOing? If I can't work on my novel today, maybe I can work on my blog, or a poem? Maybe I can listen to a podcast about the craft and up my knowledge. Maybe I just need to step away for a day or a week and live my messy life, so that I can get it out of my system and come back to my keyboard with renewed dedication.

So if you're like me, know you're not alone. It's not about writing everyday or following a bunch of prescriptive rules, it's about finding what works best for you. Mess around with different types of schedules, try different things, and never give up. That's the real key: adapt and keep on keeping on. 

Little blue lock box

I wanted to write a little about the moment that sparked my love for writing and reading, but the truth is that it was a million moments in time. Gabriela Pereira describes everybody as having a zero moment, that moment when began to be a writer, but I don't have a single moment. I was raised in a family that valued and nurtured my love of reading and writing. My childhood was filled with books from story books to American Girl novels. Even though it surrounded me, there were a few moments that stand out as meaningful in my early development.

I wrote my first novel in Mrs. Parker's second grade class. It was 24 pages of paper stapled together, each page was half lines and half blank, so that we could illustrate our story. I scrawled out the story of a young dolphin in big loopy children's letters, the sentences pitching over and under the blue lines. I chose a dolphin not because it was the best story, but because I felt I could draw a dolphin without embarrassing myself. Regardless, when I finished the story, I felt a swell of pride I'd never felt before. It was the first time I realized I could create a story. A BIG story. One that other people would want to read.

Over the summer, I began writing short stories for fun. When I finished writing these short stories, I carefully rolled them up and secured them with a piece of yarn, then I put them in my little blue lock box. I tried to show one of the neighborhood kids, but she made fun of me, so I locked the box and decided to never speak to her again. I don't know what happened to that little blue lock box, or the short stories inside it, but it's probably best they were lost in time.

This all coincided with discovering chapter books. I found Nancy Drew, the Box Car Kids, Babysitter's Club, and Sweet Valley High. Oh, readers, I really, really loved Sweet Valley High. When I was in 3rd grade, my parent's best friend gave me a collection of abridged classics: Black Beauty, Around the World in 80 Days, Little Women, you get the idea. I read Black Beauty and realized, Wow! I can read grown-up stuff! After that, it was open season. I read everything I could get my hands on. I tried to read some of my mom's romance novels, but I got bored, so I picked up my dad's novels and lo-and-behold, I found my genre. Giant worms, sword fighting, adventure, love! Holy crap, sci-fi & fantasy! SO GOOD.

The rest, as they say, is history.

I can't wait to get back to my dragons.
Have an adventuresome Friday, friends!

How to Receive Edits

A few days ago, a friend approached me for advice. She's working on implementing edits for her book and found it difficult to approach them without an emotional response. I was happy to help because dang, receiving edits is hard! I've heard a few people describe editing as harder than writing the first draft, and that makes sense. You pour out your heart and soul writing that rough draft and now somebody just comes in with their red pen and rips through it? How else can you react?

Now, I'm not a professional editor, although I did co-edit our college lit zine with a friend, I've also attended and lead editing workshops since I was a junior in High School, so I have a lot of thoughts on the subject. I wanted to share what works for me, in hopes it works for you as well!

[Note: you will notice several grammatical errors in my writing. I'm not editing this post before publishing! I frequently don't edit my blog posts... (bad writer). I'm not looking for constructive criticism on my grammar- just sharing content, y'all. So please don't bug me about dangling participles. I will roll my eyes at you. I'm preemptively rolling my eyes at you.]  

Editing Advice from your friend, Kirstin

We are going to walk through this from first steps to last. Stick with me!


The very first thing I do after writing a first draft is put it in the proverbial drawer. I leave it alone for a week to a couple months (sometimes years, but that's normally because I forgot it. Woops!). This act helps me distance myself from the project and allows me to view it with fresh eyes, eyes not obfuscated by what I thought I was writing and what I actually wrote.


The second thing I do is edit myself. Before I send it out to others, I read my work out loud. This is a trick I learned in college. When we're reading silently, our clever brains will often skip or add words as we think they should be, not as they are. So we think our sentence says "Jane loved to read and has a tall to-read stack of books!" but what it actually says is something along the lines of "Jane loves to read and has  stack books!" This kind of thing happens. When we're working on that first draft and we're on a roll, often times our hands don't keep up with us. Reading out loud forces our brains to slow down and as an added bonus- it helps us hear the cadence of our language.


So you've done your first edit and you're ready to hand it off to another person. The act of handing off to an editor is, in itself, fearful. Now is the time you should work on re-framing what's about to happen. You are not handing your project over to criticism from somebody who wants to tear you down. Your editor cares enough about your project and writing to devote hours upon hours (days upon days) towards helping you strengthen it, to polish your project. That is an act of love.


Before you hand off your project, now you want to think about what you want your editor to focus on- this could be a number of things like:

• Grammar
• Plot cohesion
• Tone
• Character development
• Plot pacing
• Language choice (most applicable to poetry)
• Whateva doesn't spark joy #mariekondoediting #makingitathing

**When you do the big hand-off, have a conversation with your editor about what you want them to focus on. This helps them and you get the feedback that will help you the most!**

IMPORTANT: DO NOT GIVE YOUR EDITOR THE ONLY COPY YOU HAVE. I can't stress this enough! You need to be able to go through and decide what you want to accept and if they've already changed it, you may not know what it was before. Give them their own copy (digital or printed) to work on and keep the mother copy sacred. That copy is only for you.

Okay, so now we've handed off your project to your editor. We wait. If you editor is like me, they may need a deadline or a few pokes here and there. Don't be afraid to talk this out with them! It helps you have realistic expectations and it helps your editor stay on task. Editing is hard work!

Now is the time, now is the place. Prepare yourself to accept what is coming.

Okay, it's here. The manuscript is back in your hot little hands. Or cold big hands? Listen, if your hands are cold, they have these things called gloves. Har Har. 

A few tips for approaching the edits:

• Everything with a grain of salt.  This old adage is around because it's so dang true. You are allowed to accept or reject edits. It's difficult to edit without bias- sometimes editors will edit for preference of tone- so you can be technically accurate and concise, but they just don't like your word choice. If you're unsure, see if you can find somebody to lay eyes on it and get their feedback. It's okay (and expected) to reject edits which you feel do not add to your work, but if it's a coherence issue (or even if you're just unsure), make sure you get a second opinion. Learning what criticism to accept or to reject is 90% of the work.
• Framing it: They are helping you build up, not tear down. You want a leaner, meaner piece of prose or poetry, and your editor wants to help you get there!
• Bring in a second editor for another revision, if you'd like some additional eyes on the project. 

Finally, you're done implementing the edits that work for you. What next? It's over, right?

NO.

1) You still have to edit like a million more times. EDITING IS NEVER OVER. Hahaha, but true. You should put it away for a week or so then come back to it and do some more self-editing. One of my poems normally goes through 5 or 6 people and countless self-edits before I ever think about submitting it or publishing it (outside of the blog. All my poems here are rough drafts!)

2) Thank your editor!

• Pay them! 

Are they doing this for free? Holy shit, you have some good friends.

• Bake them some cookies
• Definitely mention them in your forward
• Buy them dinner or take them to brunch (and don't skimp on the mimosas!)
• Bring them the hollowed out skulls of their enemies

Okay friends, I hope this helped! Happy editing <3

A Cold Day in Misery

I love my home state, but Missouri's windchill has dropped down into negative numbers and my snot froze after 10 seconds outside. Needless to say (but I'm going to say it anyway) I am not down for these temps. I did not write a poem about frozen snot. Yet.

Which brings me to a random thought. Do you remember that song by Greenday that came out "Misery" (I linked it so you can get re-acquainted). I spent a good portion of my senior year thinking that they were singing about Missouri. Now I sing it as Missouri because it makes me giggle.

Updates on the Writing Front:

• I goofed around, so not a lot of change.
• This weeks goals: work on novel, knock out a poem (maybe it will be about frozen snot).
• Blog some more. Oh, I had a great idea for a blog before I went to sleep last night. Maybe I will even remember it for later in the week!
• Do one of my LJ read-alongs and send it to my small audience. 
• Maybe I should do some YouTube videos for some of my poems? That would be fun. Must charge the tablet tonight.
• Tonight I'm building a blanket fort to write in and encouraging my writing workshop to do the same. Pics on the next blog! 

What I'm reading:

[The cover of Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly]

I just picked up Brene Brown's Daring Greatly (I won it during Booksgiving). I already love the first chapter. She is a fabulous writer, and I think her work with vulnerability is so powerful. I know I deal with a lot of fear around my writing. Fear that I'm not good enough, that even if I was good enough, I don't have the social savvy to network and find a good agent. Fear to try, fear to try and fail, fear to try and succeed. I'm basically terrified of the things I love doing the most in the world.

[The cover of Deborah Harkness' book, Time's Convert]

I'm about halfway through Deborah Harkness' Time's Convert. I love her writing! It's been exciting to watch how it evolved through the All Souls trilogy, and this is crafted beautifully. Her details are lush, her characters are interesting. I'm definitely here for it. If you're a fan of vamps, history, and love stories, you should check it out too!

Snow poem

I don't know if you've heard, but the Midwest had record levels of snow last weekend. I helped one of my partners dig out and I can tell you, I felt every 20 inches of those drifts. I started a poem over the snow day but was distracted by hot coco, so I never finished it.

Then I lost it! First poem I've written in 2 years and I lost it.

So I'm going to pull a Tenacious D moment and give you a poem about the greatest snow poem that ever was. It's not the poem, but a tribute.


Snow Poem
a tribute

It snowed 20" this weekend-
The Bradford Pear was laden
with the heavy weight of a
winter storm, boughs creaked
in the whip-cold wind, puffs of
white exploded and dropped heavy
to the drifts below until 20 inches
felt more like 30 inches and
the dog was lost beneath;
I know you were wishing
that the snow would finish off
that invasive tree, would snap it in
twain, but you didn't say it out loud.

Working on my night cheese...

I like cheese, y'all. Aw yes. Cheese and tea while I write? Perfect combo.

Thursday is all about diving back into my novel. I left my dragon in a precarious situation, perhaps even on the brink of death, and I need to find a way through it. The next scene is a big deal. The next scene is the last big scene, the climax, and then I only have to tie up some loose ends. Soon, very soon, my trilogy will be over.

Woah.

It's so weird to think I've almost finished the bones of the trilogy. I mean, I know I have a whole life of editing to do, but damn. I know it's too early to celebrate, but this is going to be a huge mile marker for me.

2019, I'm coming for you.

Big Dreams for the Year

Hello, readers!

Some big things are going on in my world. I'm finishing up some writing projects that I hope see the light of day sometime this glorious new year.

I also did a new thing! I created an author's page on Facebook. Be like the cool kids and go follow it, if you're so inclined.

Our writing collective had a productive meeting last night. I did some major goal setting for the new year and one of those goals is to start writing poetry again. It's time to put out a new chapbook, don't you think? So prepare yourself for some rough draft blog poems, again. Taking it back to the beginning of the blog, oh yes.



Speaking of chapbooks- haven't read my chapbook a record of night? Well you're just in time for a shameless plug. Check it out!

If you like what you read, please leave me a review at Amazon. This is a great way to support your local author-friend. Wink wink nudge nudge.

Procrastinating

This post is procrastinating and about procrastinating.

Are you familiar with the "You Should Be Writing" memes put out by Writing about Writing?

These are photos from the FB page. Familiar? Because I need them branded into my brain. I have been such a procrastinator. I am sure you are unsurprised, readers. This man provides a valuable service for humans such as me.

But I'm still going to get this done ya'll. It's happening. I need to be done with this series! Plus, I need to start editing so that it's vaguely cohesive! Queers saving the world! Needs more dragons. OH, that's A GOOD IDEA.

I guess I should be writing. Happy Camp NaNoWriMo month, y'all!

Brainstorming writing projects for this year

I have a couple project ideas that I'm thinking about and I just wanted to write them out to see if I like them. I don't know if they'll stick. If you're reading this and you have an opinion about something you'd like to see/read/hear, definitely chime in! I'm really feeling the audio this year.

• Spoken poetry series based on a record of time. I've been thinking about this for a little while. I could read out poems from my chapbook and link to the actual chapbook in case folks are interested in buying the kindle copy. 
• Definitely starting to work on a second chapbook. Posting new poetry here is something that has helped my productivity in the past but if I'm interested in submitting to journals rather than self publishing again, this would be a poor choice. Do I go the route I know works for me or do I try something more traditional to see if I can make it happen?
• Do more "little poetry reading" posts more, because that is fuuuuuuuuuuuun.
• Perhaps do an audio book of my Mauri Kor books? If I do this, I won't be able to publish it through a legit publisher. Maybe my goal should be to finish this book and then start a new one and podcast it as I go. But I definitely want to get this last book finished before I start in on a new one. Maybe I could pick up the weird kitty people mad scientist horror story I was working on. OR I could do a series of short stories! That would be fun, too.

Ultimately my goal for this year is to just remember to write. I want to try to sit down everyday and at least look at the projects I'm working on. What should I be doing? Writing. Mantra for this year: write more! PUBLISH!

December shmamember

Well, 2017 has been quite a shit year,  if you will pardon my language. However, I am close to finishing the second book of my Prophecy series and someday another person might read it. #goals

I took the Facebook app off my phone and I'm hoping that helps me accomplish a bit better balance in my life.

May the muse be with you and your own never dry.

May next year kick 2017s ass.

Why do I love cats so much?

Why do I love cats so much?

by K. Steitz

A flash fiction piece

dedicated to Kelly Hawk

I practiced sitting in different parts of Emily's two story Italianate on East Walnut Street. Light streamed into the windows, perfect for slow, joint-popping stretches and lazy nods. I studied rejuvenating repose by twisting myself into many different shapes, pulling tight into a full moon, or stretching from tip-to-tip like a jagged line punctuated by a peaceful sigh. Honestly, they all felt magnificent.

Most rooms had a lovely amount of light to bathe beneath, but my favorite place to curl up was in Emily's breakfast nook. I do believe she found my antics rather charming. She went out of her way to brush her fingers across my shoulders every time she passed by me that morning. It was one of the days she didn't disappear, but lounged with me between chores, book in one hand, chipped cup of earl gray in the other. These are my favorite mornings.

There was a picture window in the breakfast nook that looked out upon her well-maintained garden. The cushion itself is a delight, soft blue cotton; the window provides hours of entertainment. I was particularly interested in the bird life. She had a wide and unique variety of birds that visited her intricately molded cast-iron bird feeder. I believe I even saw a smug gentleman with a yellow chin and long beak poking about. Now those are some feathers I'd really love to sink my teeth into. Perhaps in another life.






Do you want a piece of flash fiction dedicated to you? Ask me any question in the comments of my blog and I will answer in the form of flash fiction. Emphasis on the fiction. Wink wink.

A small rant about series

Have you read Naomi Novik yet? She wrote a beautiful book called Uprooted. This book lead me to explore her Temeraire series. To be honest with you, I was hesitant, despite how much I adored Uprooted, I've reached a point in my life where I am just not into long series about straight white dudes, especially based in an alt colonizer history, but I tried because I figured I found a great new author and I should try her other books out. I was not disappointed.

When I finished the first book, I was thirsty for the next one. I went to three local book stores to find book 2. I went to Barnes & Noble. They all had 4, 5, 6. Even the library was missing 2 & 3. I spent months trying to find them on my own. Finally I broke down and ordered them off Amazon. After a few weeks of no-books, I checked tracking and realized I accidentally ordered them from a UK retailer. I took a deep breath and accepted the situation. They were coming... just from across the pond.

Finally, a package showed up on my door. I squealed and ripped it open to find... book 3. They shipped my books separately and they shipped the 3rd book in the series first.

I mean, what even????

It's fine. The universe doesn't want me to read delicious books. I understand. Everything is fine.